Do you ever feel like, no matter how hard you try, things just don’t go your way. You strive and strive to get ahead but something always happens to hold you back. Life seems amazing, and everything is perfect one minute only to have you feeling like your life is falling apart the next.
That is me these past few weeks. It feels like my life was going great and now all of a sudden….CRASH!
Recently, my work made a mandate, that nobody in my position will have two days off in a row. A luxury I have been accustomed to for the past 2 years. Now, I will now have to take split days off.
What kills me in that my kids have had so much change in their lives over the last 3 years that I was happy that a least my job provided some consistency. Not to mention, I had quiet a bit of flexibility in my schedule so that I could be there for my kids. Now, that luxury is gone.
I have to be honest, I have not been coping well with this change. I have been throwing, what can only be seen as, an adult tantrum over the whole thing! I mean don’t they know that we like to on adventures on our weekends. Or that that is my little and my special day together. Or that my kids have gymnastics on the day I’m now being forced to work. Don’t they know I only signed them up for gymnastics on that day because that’s the day they told me I had off!
I am not OK with this change and I have allowed it to create upset in my Feng Shui of life. I have been moping around, depressed, angry, and am having a hard time keeping my focus. I have been running around frantically, desperate to do anything to control the situation. I have done everything, but being still and knowing who my God is.
Be still, and know that I am God;
The truth is, I can’t control this situation. Sure I can change my job. But living where I work, is it the right call? To move my girls from the home they have known for the last two years? Maybe. But not in haste.
So often things happen to us where our wold feels shattered, and we run! Run to our friends and family to verbally vomit all over them about how unfair life is. We run around in circles making ourselves mad with the fact that we can’t control the injustice being caused. And we run around exhausted, until we just can’t run anymore.
But how often do we first run to God and then be still?
See, after years of failing this, I’m getting better on the first part. I run to Him. I run to him and it goes something like this, “God this is so unfair! I need you to help me. Give me clarity, give me wisdom.”
All of this is good, but I forget to ask for peace.
I pray for His help, but I don’t necessarily trust that He can change the situation at hand. My faith is small. I ask for clarity but then I muddle my mind with distractions of how I am going to fix the situation. I ask for wisdom, and truly I think that is the only thing that saves me from myself half the time.
After, I pray I spend so much time trying to act on the situation, that I don’t just meditate. What I wish I would learn to do is to seek God and then meditate on Him. I wish that I would learn to be still in His presence and to be patient for His answer. I run to Him, and then into action.
What I fail to remember is that He is the same God in my storm that He is in my quiet perfect world. I can’t calm the storms in my life, but He can.
When Jesus called Peter onto the water they were in the middle of the storm. Peter got out of the boat, eyes on Jesus and he started walking on the water to Him. But what happened next is note worthy. He took his eyes of Jesus and focused on the storm, the storm that had already been going on. It was then that he started to sink. What is beautiful in this story is that Peter cried out for Jesus to save him, and He did, immediately. They both got back into the boat together and the storm ceased.
And Peter answered Him and said, “Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.”
So He said, “Come.” And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus. But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, saying, “Lord, save me!”
And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased.
Jesus gives us this amazing example as a reminder that He is with us in the storm. That even though the conditions around us may be scary or upsetting, if we keep our eyes on Him we will walk through it, on top, and not drown. But what is even more amazing is that if we do lose focus, we have a loving Father. And even though we may start to sink, all it takes is us crying out to Him for Him to take us by the hand, pick us up, and take us to safety; all with Him by our side. What’s beautiful is that through the whole thing Jesus never left Peter. He was there the whole time.
When our wold is falling apart, there is only one person who can calm the storm.
Will you run to Him?